Hard Goodbye
October 2024
I knew I’d miss you, feel it heavy in my chest,
From lovers to strangers, I’m here, but you left.
We won’t grow old, won’t get that dog, won’t see the world,
Girl, I’ll miss you in that mini-skirt.
And I really tried my best,
Kept my head above the water,
Lost a friend and my Oma.
Through it all, I still stayed sober
Couldn’t even rest my head on your shoulder.
But for you, I was always doing something wrong,
This or that, didn’t matter, it was the same old song.
Shit, you’ll go to heaven and still find something wrong.
Now I’m sitting here, questioning where we went wrong.
I bawled in front of you, but you didn’t even care
No hug, no love, just a cold, empty stare.
Girl, you blamed me for things I didn’t even do,
But never stopped to think, maybe it was you.
Now I’m questioning what was even real
Was it love or something you couldn’t feel?
Telling me I was wrong, like it was always bad
Did you forget about all the dreams we had?
I still haven’t cried about you,
I think it’s because I don’t want it to be true.
I knew it’d be hard, knew you’d leave a mark,
But holding it in feels like I’m falling apart.
To label me evil just eases your pain
If I’m the bad one, you’re free from the blame.
You think it’s easy to shift all the weight,
But the truth lingers on, no matter how you reshape.
I love myself way more than I love you
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes too.
But I can’t save you, and what’s broken needs to heal,
What isn’t healed will inevitably repeat, that’s the deal.
If you ever think back, wonder where I’m at,
Just remember who was real, who stayed on track.
Cause in the end, girl, you lost what was real
Now it’s my time to heal, I got fresh wounds to seal.