No Remedy
January 2022
I took too big of a bite,
Eyes bigger than my hunger,
Now I’ve got too much on my plate.
Open arms, I stand here,
Waiting for something to save me.
I should be done getting high,
I always thought it was a phase,
Something that’d pass by,
But that’s a lie.
I can’t stop myself from getting high,
This shit is getting to my head,
I keep falling out of bed.
Counting sheep, but I’m not asleep.
Dream world or fake world?
Which one’s the real world?
My feet aren’t touching the ground,
I’m floating on a cloud,
Suppressing my envies for more,
I’m not a life lover anymore.
There’s nothing that feels the same,
I poisoned myself, I’m ashamed.
I feel like a slave, cuffed to a chain,
A hostage in my own brain.
Tormented, I can’t do this anymore
Who’s the person in the mirror?
I’m an addict, I like drugs; it’s a predict.
It doesn’t pay off
I fell off.
To be honest, I keep getting closer to the edge,
But for some reason, I keep getting up.
I guess it’s because I pledged
I’ll never let myself fall off the edge.
But that’s a lie,
Cause nothing is quite as it seems
When my mind is paralyzed,
And all I can do is breathe.
I know I’ve been hiding,
I haven’t been fighting.
There’s nothing I can tell,
There’s no one that can help.
I’m the decider, captain of this ship,
Owner of the whip.
But this is so long ago
It’s time for me to let it go.
I need to feel,
Stop numbing my emotions.
I need discipline,
Learn not to lose control
And listen to my soul.
I have to confront my fears,
Reflect on the years.
Decompress, reassess, and progress.
Work, grow, and get into a better flow.
I wanna do better, be greater,
Be a life lover.
Profit off the pain
Not waiting for the storm to end,
But learning to dance in the rain.
I know I’m smart,
All I need is a fresh start.
I wanna open my heart,
Feel human again.
Clarity I must obtain
No strain will put me on the right lane.
The future is here, and damn, I fear,
But I can’t lose another year.
Let this day end, and the next begin.
I’m sick of this sin,
I’m ready to win.
I need to show what’s under my skin.
I wanna love the life I was given,
I wanna feel driven.
I hope to make it to heaven.
I don’t want this stuff to be my distraction.
This is the preparation for my action.